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December 15, 2011

Romney Christmas Card – You Tell Me

By Michael Shaw

Given the keen eyes of the Bag readership, we’re offering you the floor to deconstruct the Romney Christmas card.  According to The Nation, the image above is the front, and the photo and text below is inside. (You can click both, especially the first, for a larger size.)

…And by the way, if you’ve been lurking here for any time at all, consider this our invitation for you to jump in.

And, as an added bonus: Bush Holiday Card ‘08; Bush Holiday Card ‘07; Cheney Holiday Card ‘08; Cheney Holiday Card ‘07; Cheney Holiday Card 2006 – a personal favorite!

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  • Bugboy

    I know, I know, this is a “below the belt” blow, but the plethora of progeny begs the base question:

    Which one(s) is(are) his wife(wives)? 

    America thought they had a problem with a mythical Muslim in the White House, now they face the prospect of a mystical Mormon? What planet are the voters from?The image though, reminds me of Huckabee’s family portrait from a few years ago with his kids looking like mini overweight clones of him, even with the same patterned shirts.  

    For Huckabee it was Ticky-tacky Americana: Eat much lately?  For Romney’s, is it: Screw much?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kulinarisk Mads Holm Lauridsen

    It’s got Mormon in technicolor written all over it!

    • bks

      There is something peculiar about the faces, particularly the back row.  Was there a sale on mascara?

          –bks

  • bystander

    Wow, that first image was confusing… but those must be the grandkids.  The second photo makes that plain.  Could not reconcile Mitt’s grey hair with the ages of those kids, and 16 (?) kids would be a lot of kids even for a staunch Mormon family.  And, I don’t know that Mitt is “staunch.”  Five sons could easily produce 16 grandkids.

    I can’t help but wonder if that card front wasn’t a kind of self-deprecating humor… or, maybe it was a gotcha when coupled with the back.  At any rate, there are layers to this card.  What you see depends a lot on your assumptions.

    I do notice there is one unpaired (?) female in the back row.  I wonder who she is.  Kind of assume the boys and their wives/girlfriends are there.  Given the Romney’s religious beliefs, leads to a whole ‘nother layer of speculation.

    All in all, it’s a *great* family photo.

    • karen h.

      I believe the “unpaired female” in the back row is his eldest grandchild.  She’s in the first photo as well.

  • oliviacw

    It’s a great photo, really. Love the colors.  But my immediate response was “oh right, he’s Mormon.”  It’s not going to help in the electoral demographic that has issues with his religion.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=768958305 Peter Hollander

    I don’t get the “Oh, he’s Mormom”, as much as I get that he’s hiding in plain sight besides all the young children, and making the majority of them wear a table cloth, to boot. 

    But if it all was really about “progeny”, and “kids”, of any age, being the future of the country, then the inside picture would have been the outside picture, and vise-versa.

    Also, his expression seems a lot less forced when he is just with the Grand Kids.  They’re probably all easier to please.

    • tinwoman

      We immediately see Mormon because no human in his right mind has 16 children these days (and yes, I get that they are his grandchildren but still).

  • carafinnegan

    Gender gender gender. Boys in blue, girls in orange with flowers in their hair. Only one girl not in orange – presumably she’s old enough to “mother” the younger ones and thereby escapes the push to conformity.

  • marc sobel

    Boy, really shows how important (some peoples’) family is to him.  Agreeing with most of the rest of the comments, this will not help with the whole cult issue.  Notice how skillfully the photoshoper had hidden the stems of the pods coming behind their ears.

  • http://profiles.google.com/thomasgokey Thomas Gokey

    It is difficult, isn’t it, to compose a large family photo like this and have it turn out well. Like almost everything Romney does, this just feels off. Too perfect, not natural enough. Even the “imperfections,” the cute but unruly kids, the untucked shirts, seems scripted.

    The main thing I notice is the trend in these big family photos to coordinate with clothing, in this case creating a uniform for the boys and the girls, with slightly lager variation on the themes for the adult kids, and an attempt to set Mitt’s wife clearly apart as the only one in a red dress.

    The first word that jumped into my mind was “tablecloth.”

    I hate to say it, because I’d like to believe that these thoughts are not in my head, but when the other commentators mentioned “cult” I realized that that also was somewhere in my psyche. I bet it’s in most of ours, but it’s an ugly thing.

  • http://profiles.google.com/thomasgokey Thomas Gokey

    The other thing that jumps out to me is the climate. This is, true to form, BOTH a Christmas card AND a happy holidays card. Mitt, as always, is aiming to please. But the dresses and the green grass and the flip-flops (the sandals that is) seem more like a picnic at the beach house. There’s no effort to make it “Christmas-y” at all, either in the color scheme or the lack of wintery weather.

    Take a guess as to what the temperature was when they took this? To me it seems like a brisk fall or spring day, one where you can get away with a dress, but aren’t completely comfortable in one. Visually it doesn’t seem like a sweltering hot summer day (although for all I know it could have been in reality).

    In wintery Christmas cards you usually get a contrast between it being really freaking cold outside, and the warmth of the fireplace, sweaters, hot chocolate and above all the warmth of family itself. This picture, by contrast, seems cool if not cold on the interpersonal level, in part because the season isn’t winter.

    • http://www.bagnewsnotes.com Michael Shaw

      Very interesting point about season/timing/temperature. Is Romney so strategic to shoot a Christmas card months early?

    • Anonymous

      The wealthy have better weather than the rest of us. Duh.

  • http://www.bagnewsnotes.com Michael Shaw

    Re: checks and polka dots, plus Mitt’s jeans vs. the khakis. More Iowa than N. England?

    • Anonymous

      More *caricature* of Iowa than New England. The Iowa of Green Acre’s Hooterville, and Bain Capital, and Willard’s disconnect.

  • Momly

    One of the sons didn’t get the memo about the shirt.

    There is a huge age gap between first granddaughter (orange free one) and the next oldest kid. Maybe about 5-6 years which is unusual in a family that starts pushing them out once the ring is on the finger. Makes me wonder about the sequence of events.

    The vibe that imo is intended here is “Americana” but this is the Americana that lives in affluent parts of the country, not the blue collar parts of it. 

    The little cutie in the pigtails on Romney’s lap in the first picture almost makes him look human. Maybe he should spend more time around them before he goes in front of other cameras – it might rub off in a positive way.

    The only concession to the Christmas season is the red dress; orange and blue make me think picnic, lemonade, frisbee, ice cream, swimming. 

    My overall take away is WOW that’s a lot of family!!!

    • WordSmith

      Re: Huge gap….truly, not trying to be snide. I read somewhere that some of Mitt’s boys had trouble with fertility issues.

  • Enoch Root

    I find it hard to snipe at someone’s Xmas card. I’d make different choices, like letting people wear their own clothes.

    Most importantly, what the top image says to me is: Always embed the ICC profile.

    Merry sRGB, everyone!

    • http://profiles.google.com/thomasgokey Thomas Gokey

      When you let everyone where their own clothes, it gets really really hard to compose a coherent family portrait with so many people.

      I appreciate the challenge of doing this kind of thing. No doubt they had professionals involved, professional photographers and lighters, professional stylists for the costume choices, hair and makeup. Professional political consultants on the getting the right vibe across.

      All in all, they did a competent job, but I wouldn’t say that it was inspired on any level.

      In these circumstances you want to ask, what would Annie Leibovitz do?

  • Steafnie Weldon

    Romney’s head is so big it looks photo shopped.

  • ceenik

    Unlike some earlier posters I don’t think this pic seems particularly “Mormon.”  I’d call it “creepily Christian,” which is probably just the group Romney is courting here!

  • Shirley

    Haven’t read all the other comments yet, but here are two thoughts:

    1) As Mads Holm Lauridsen said, yes, this is Mormon in technicolor

    and

    2) That first picture strikes me as stranger and stranger … just because of that one girl who’s not dressed in the “grandchild uniform” and is clearly not Romney’s wife (though it sends a creepy sub-message). I assume she’s a grandchild who just felt too old for the standard outfit, but it’s just weird looking the more I stare at it.

  • Glenn

    The tweaking of the color adds a tone of artificiality which is the first thing that strikes me. I don’t immediately think “Mormom” but I do think “fake” “exaggerated” “cosmetic” “retouched.” Unfortunately for Romney, this reinforces the impression that he is stiff, manniquin-like, and unreal.

    The busy-ness of the gingham pattern almost seems to vibrate.

  • George Mokray

    Cookie cutter children, all controlled.

  • Anonymous

    clones?

  • tinwoman

    10 bazillion children, this clown and his spawn are everything that’s wrong with the world, literally everything.

    Gag.

    • Notfullyformed

      Was looking for the right words…thank you tinwoman, you said all that I wanted to say. And “gag” says everything, literally everything, about this photo.

  • Brett_McS

    Hey look, it’s Not-The-Choom-Gang!

  • Momly

    You’re right! They look either Goth or like they’ve been punching each other in the eye. Lighting issue?

  • Anonymous

    I believe it’s a consequence of bad scanning; the original cards were probably fine, but needed to be scanned to be made available to us online. The first image looks like  bad automatic color adjustment, the second like an experiment with “descreen.” Perhaps someone had an intern scan it for us.

  • Megan

    Looks like they did what lots of people do: selected the best family picture from the previous year. The matching is more precious than I’m used to, but some families do wear match-y stuff in family portraits. My guess is that the theme of the sitting was “family portrait” and it got re-purposes for Christmas.

  • Anonymous

    I’m with Megan: the hydrangeas say it’s early summer. It’s very “I’m just a regular working guy like you” of Romney to use a family photo for a Christmas card (on regular photo paper, too: none of that fancy custom stuff here!) They’re just being ideal Quiverfillers, doing the Lord’s work. Merry Christmas and happy holiday SEASON, everyone! (That’s Christmas *and* New Years, heathens.)

  • Anonymous

    I’m with Megan: the hydrangeas say it’s early summer. It’s very “I’m just a regular working guy like you” of Romney to use a family photo for a Christmas card (on regular photo paper, too: none of that fancy custom stuff here!) They’re just being ideal Quiverfillers, doing the Lord’s work. Merry Christmas and happy holiday SEASON, everyone! (That’s Christmas *and* New Years, heathens.)

  • Jonathanghess

    The color and contrast have been noticeably tweaked. Makes it look even more like one of those artificial-looking 1950s postcards.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=570058329 Catherine McCallum

    It’s unfortunate – everybody appears to be wearing thick black eyeliner and fake eyelashes.

  • bystander

    Why, yes, she is!  Thanks for pointing that out to me.

  • Shirley

    Yep, the greenery in the background says it all … this is not a recent (as in last few weeks) pic, unless they all took a trip to warmer climes for the photo opp.

  • http://profiles.google.com/thomasgokey Thomas Gokey

    Au contraire, it’s Merry Christmas, happy holidays AND a joyful new year.

    He’s covering everyone but marking Christmas and the people who celebrate Christmas as more equal than the other religious holidays, the people the celebrate them or non-religious people.

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