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December 26, 2010

Bag’s Best of 2010 – Andrew Breitbart, a.k.a. Mr. Bubbles

Bryce Duffy for TIME
Bryce Duffy for TIME

The phrase that hit me as soon as I saw this was: that stubborn bathtub ring!

This portrait of Andrew Breitbart, the crass, hateful and subversive trickster reveals just how ludicrous and ham-handed he is — the photo, attempting to parody soft and sensitive liberals, makes a mockery instead.

In light of the TIME article that accompanies the pic, or the May New Yorker profile (“Rage Machine”), the photo makes as much sense as if Tony Soprano tried to pull off this scene.  What’s offered up here, rather, is a churlish visual attack on liberals, particularly L.A.’s west side quiche eaters such as former mentor Arianna Huffington, that Breitbart grew up (and felt so inferior) around.

So here’s the sophomoric push back, like the hairy monster is some kind of metrosexual type, lounging in his tub actually filled with bubble bath (!), with a tower of fresh towels (spa, anyone?) and a glass of white wine in this modernist haven giving off the Zen/eco-vibe.

Though I have no idea what brand he does his damage with, by the way, I’d imagine the Mac (which, true to character, Breitbart threatens with a drenching) is part of the mockery, too, the destructive brute seeming much more like a PC man.

(caption: Andrew Breitbart at home in his bathroom in Los Angeles on March 15, 2010.)

  • black dog barking

    “Crass” and “hateful” feel appropriate with this subject matter. “Subversive trickster” implies an element of humor, Loki, that I’ve not seen in Mr Breitbart’s oeuvre. James Rainey at the LAT used “furiously partisan Internet operator” to describe our bathing beauty.

    The photo tells us Mr Breitbart has nothing to hide, that he’s not afraid to be completely open. Or, recalling the trickster, it says that he’s willing to do anything to get in front of our eyeballs — beware of what lies beneath the surface.

    This pic reminds me of another famous conservative internet poser, James Dale Guckert. Birds of a peculiar feather.

  • Event_Horizon

    With him being in the bathtub and using a Macintosh I couldn’t help thinking about flying toasters.

  • Robin Moore

    To me it only says, “I know I’m dirty and need to take a bath.”

  • Lenox

    I’ve just had a gagging order from the state attorney here in Spain for writing some social comment (nowhere near as strong as your Mr Breitbart). We don’t enjoy the First Amendment here.

  • Gerry Desrosiers

    All I can think of is that the Mac’s battery must be running down. Wish someone would plug it in for him.

    Breitbart is a malignancy.

  • Wayne Dickson

    Funny! But isn’t the “Fuck-off!” frowny face discordant?

    Reminds me, if you haven’t heard it, check out Roy Zimmerman’s “Hard to Be a Liberal.” As always, sharp, witty, satirical, and very funny:

  • serr8d

    Well, you’re a typical lefty hater, of course. I suppose I would feel the same reaction if I saw you and Arianna Huffington blowing soap bubbles in a Huffpo-sponsored photo.

    You do know that Andrew Breitbart was once as far left as Arianna Huffington was far right, don’t you? That Breitbart gave Arianna a push to get her started, helped her create that Huffpo monstrosity ? That Breitbart left the Left only after the RACIST! Left’s racist! attacks on Clarence Thomas (g00gle that) made him sick to his stomach? That he got black Tea Party candidate Cedra Crenshaw back on the ballot in Illinois after the Left had her tossed off (for being Black and Conservative; that’s off the reservation and considered intolerable for you hypocritical Leftists, isn’t it?).

    Andrew Breitbart is a better man than you, than any of you on the Left. Deal.

    • cmac

      Hm. So the Left ‘tossing’ a conservative candidate in favor of a liberal one is somehow hypocritical? Are you saying that the Left MUST SUPPORT candidates of color, regardless of philosophy? Race trumps political leanings?

      Is that what the Right does?

      I see you hadn’t thought this through. You spew furious sophistry, serr8d. No wonder you’re such a fan of the lying sack of hatefulness pictured in his bubble bath above.

    • g

      Your timing is wrong, bluntknife.

      You do know that Andrew Breitbart was once as far left as Arianna Huffington was far right, don’t you? That Breitbart gave Arianna a push to get her started, helped her create that Huffpo monstrosity ? That Breitbart left the Left only after the RACIST! Left’s racist! attacks on Clarence Thomas (g00gle that) made him sick to his stomach?

      Breitbart claims to have become a conservative as a result of the Clarence Thomas hearings, which took place in 1991. The Huffington Post was started in 2005 by Ariana.

      Huffington’s politics began changing toward progressive in the late ’90s. It had nothing to do with Breitbart. Breitbart met her when she was still a conservative, but offered to help her later on, when she considered herself a progressive.

      Breitbart himself doesn’t describe his former leanings as “far left” nor himself as an activist, he describes himself as someone who unthinking accepted his liberalism until he had his Clarence-Thomas-induced ephiphany…which took place in 1991.

      Bluntknife FAIL.

    • E E Keller

      Ooooh the bubbles got to your brain. A Clarence Thomas supporter. Everybody’s got at least one friend, even perverts like Thomas.

  • tinwoman

    There’s a lot of slime built up in that tub. Somebody needs to scrub it out. If it was up to me, I’d just junk the tub and buy a new one. I’d feel the scum every time I tried to use it; I don’t think you can clean out some things.

  • kailuahale

    What’s the parody when it’s him, in his house, his bathtub, wine, Mac and bubble bath. What a fake. I think left or right, what I can’t stand is the creepiness of his lies.

  • Marie

    I don’t know the man, but how much work is he actually getting done using his mac in the tub? It does not look like an easy angle in which to surf much less type. Also, I’d worry about dropping the thing into the water. Also, I’m a little confused about his sense of personal dignity in inviting us into his bathroom. I’m guessing the bubbles are for modesty’s sake.

    Word associations that come to mind: breath of fresh air, exposed, luxury, irritation, don’t bother me, skinny machine. An ad for luxury living gone horribly awry.

  • notyourlawyer

    People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

  • Spaniard

    Racists should not accuse the better elements of our society of being racists. Especially by lying knowingly.

    I hope the bastard gets sued and loses big. He deserves it.

  • serr8d

    Caption to the pic:

    “Blow me, Eric Bohlert”

    • Stan B.

      Instead of just making it up whole cloth as is your usual, serr8d- why not caption the photo with Andrew Breitbart’s own brilliant self description, “I’m Matt Drudge’s bitch.”

  • cay

    I have known Andrew since high school. He used the same saying on his yearbook page as he did on his facebook page:

    “Except for preferring to ride sidesaddle, I consider myself a pretty masculine guy.”

    Perhaps this explains the photo…

  • bartcopfan

    FWIW, this is one of the first pix you’ve shown that I really struggled to make sense of.

    It’s like this is the result of a project to create the stupidest picture possible.

    “What doesn’t go together at all…?”

    Hmmmm, hold this laptop awkwardly over a full bathtub, so you’ll have no chance to actually use it and will also risk its instant destruction (at least it’s not plugged in so you (presumably) don’t risk electrocution yourself. Have the bathroom itself constructed so the world regularly gets the “full monty”. Now, stare uncomfortably and vaguely toward the photographer like ‘WTF?’.


    The Old Spice ads make more sense than this. To me, anyway.

    • bartcopfan

      Close parenth after “yourself”.

  • A. Nelson

    Forgive me but that ‘pose’ looks well rehearsed….

  • billyjoe

    Breitbart would never live in a region of So. Cal—let’s say the Riverside County cities Banning or Beaumont–where most of the residents might share his knee-jerk anti-liberal viewpoints.

    Being a conservative in West LA is so much more convenient and comfortable, and the lib-run restaurants and cafes have much better atmosphere and service.

  • vortexgods

    You do realize that Rush Limbaugh also uses a Mac?

    Neither of them are PC.

    • E E Keller

      In the bathtub?

  • wisewebwoman

    “Sad Sack” comes to mind.
    He looks like Mommy handed him the laptop and has gone off to answer the phone and forgot about him.

  • roseonpolitics

    Nothing more says “liberal elite” than a Mac.

    • E E Keller

      My out-of-work 68-year-old, Mac-using commercial artist cousin would really think this comment was funny…or ludicrous.

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