CSI Connecticut

Until further developments in the case prove me wrong, I’m going with the “chump hypothesis” about Faisal Shahzad. These guys seem to appear at convenient times to revive flagging interest in the war on terra.

Whatever happened to the “Newburgh bombers?” They were petty criminals – purse snatchers and shoplifters – when some government agent flashed hundreds of dollars of cash at them. When they became ardent jihadists, we are told, government cash had nothing at all to do with it. They were Muslim extremists who were determined to do something to harm America.

Then there was the Fort Dix terrorists – mostly pizza delivery guys who held weekend exercises and saw themselves as dangerous characters. They copped a plea and went to prison. How many others are there? They’re the Muslim counterparts of the Michigan militia – a sort of Hutaree jihadists.

Government over-reaction creates these characters. Whenever there’s a series of sensational crimes, for example, at least fifteen people walk into the police station and confession. Some of them can even identify the “murder weapon” – they’re keeping it in their bedroom dresser.

Nice take. If it only took 24 more hours to catch Mr. Firecracker than it would have taken Jack Bauer, he ain’t exactly OBL.

The pizza delivery guys outside Fort Dix remind me of the Festrunk Brothers, Dan Akroyd and Steve Martin’s “two wild and crazy guys from Bratislava.”

The Duka brothers were from Albania, not from Czechoslovakia, and they imagined themselves to be dangerous jihadists. They filmed themselves running around yelling Allah Akhbar and took the film to be developed at the local PhotoMat.

That might have been the end of it but the report of their activities reached the politically ambitious United States Attorney, Chris Christie . . . who is now the governor of New Jersey. He was not going to let an opportunity like that go by.

Time Magazine reported that a damning piece of evidence against them, a hand-written pledge of loyalty to jihadism, was actually a forgery. Nonetheless, Christie was able to secure a conviction and make a name for himself in New Jersey politics.

These “wild and crazy guys” from Albania didn’t think their training manual had to be kept secret from the authorities. Their secret lives as desperadoes surprised everyone who thought of them as pizza guys. Here’s Chris Christie, basking in the press attention he got for prosecuting them.